The girls are the same age and having prom at the same time - to get her a bespoke dress as a reward while not doing that for Laura is just blatantly rubbing it in her face that she's not "good enough". I am in this picture and I don’t like it. It isn't favouritism. She shared the incident, which left her feeling guilty, on Reddit’s “Am I the A*****” (AITA) forum. I agree when i read the whole mock exam thing, op rewarded the adopted daughter for passing mock exams where the grades don't actually matter, Then blows off her bio daughter for for actually working hard and getting passing grades. She loved cats and spent the final 25 years of her life adopting one elderly cat at a time from the local shelter. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I'm not doing it because it's something I should do, or something I feel obligated to do. It wasn't about which one I like better, it was just rewarding Ella's high achievement. I love them equally. Since we were both in our early 20s when we got married both agreed that it would be best to wait a few years before bringing kids into the picture. Maybe Laura chose to live with him? I 23F have always been civil with my 19M half brother. You don't adopt a child because "the house is empty", you get a bloody dog. The 19-year-old, writing under the username rooceyroo, shared her dilemma in Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A******) forum. User account menu. Laura and Ella started arguing when Ella thought it would be funny to joke that we could always get Laura a dress from the charity shop. I looked into getting her a bespoke prom dress. People on Reddit did not hold back in their responses to this insane saga. Close. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. r/AITA has just been absolutely amazing lately and this video is no exception. They've all been fantastic about it, even about me showing up late to class (yes guys I know lateness is the worst; I struggle with lateness and have my whole life, I hate it SO much, it's something I'm working hard on but it's a very slow process with a lot of setbacks). Yes, you love all your children equally, but that doesn't mean you don't like one more. “I will always maintain that for us to build the Nigeria we dream of, we must create strong systems and institutions. I'm finally learning about autism (which my parents were outright told I had when I was a kid but didn't have me evaluated for because my dad is a narc) and getting accommodations for that and my ADHD at college, which are helping a ton. I read everything twice, first skimming it to get the general idea, then reading it more carefully while taking detailed notes relevant to my paper. If my ADHD is acting up, I'll study for 60-90 minutes, take a 15-20 minute break, then go back to studying. Frankly, 10-20 years at most is what they can expect. No A-holes here. Nothing wrong with that but not deserving of a huge reward like I got Ella. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but it's a pattern I've seen play out a lot and I really don't think it's smart for someone in that age range to be primary caregivers long term for really young children. A complicated story on Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole has people strongly disagreeing on family dynamics and what parents owe the children they create. If you base this reward on academics then you could be screwing the bio kid out of ever getting a similar present. Rising. “AITA for not renaming/rehoming my cat because my sister likes his name?” Reddit helped OP decide where guilt belongs by declaring: NTA – Not The A**hole; YTA – You’re The A**hole ; ESH – Everyone Sucks Here; NAH – No A**holes Here; Nobody could see a reason why OP would be at fault here. Users were quick to give advice, with some suggesting to sit his stepdaughter down for a heart to heart, and others says that the whole ordeal was not worth his trouble. YTA, Her teachers like her and she works hard, but her grades are quite average. My husband's grandmother took this even a step further. Yeah YTA. They know they will die soon. News, events, and goings-on in and around Richmond, Virginia. There were other options. card classic compact. Of course, institution such as FRSC started here in Oyo State and it was adopted nationally. I’m surprised they were even allowed to adopt at that age! I know we made her so happy and didn't regret one minute. Posted by 2 months ago. My husband and I have been married for 7 years. 00:06 AITA for “ruining Christmas” by kicking out my DIL for humiliating me?2. When I was 13 they adopted 2 little … Press J to jump to the feed. Posted by 1 month ago. AITA here? That woman was something special. She lives with her dad far away but we see each other as much as we can. My new success strategy, which I recently developed, is to space out doing all the research over a couple weeks. By Ashley Wehrli Jun 10, 2020. They usually get along quite well, but after that they called started calling each other every name under the sun. I LOVED my history class because the instructor wrote down everything down on the whiteboard as an outline, and I could just fill in more details when needed. r/AITA: Are you looking for /r/AmItheAsshole ? She lives with her dad far away but we see each other as much as we can. Even though these exams are unofficial and don't count towards her final grade, I wanted to get her something special to celebrate. User account menu. Question. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. OP literally said his other daughter was ‘not deserving’. She had been abused and kept in a cage most of her life. YTA not because you rewarded Ella because you're right, she deserves recognition, but for what you chose to reward her with. Not the A-hole. Because the reward stops becoming internal (pride, sense of accomplishment) and the kid will start to rely on the external motivation to do the same work (if I pass this exam will you buy me matching shoes?!) Riding top comment to say: you really shouldn’t be giving out big gifts to reward academic achievements anyways. Log In Sign Up. Unless your name is on those adoption papers, you didn't sign up for them. On the surface, adoption seems like a wonderful thing. I've changed the way I study. Don't Forget to Subscribe, Like & Share AITA For telling my ADOPTED sister to go back to her TRUE family? User account menu. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. when I need to. NTA. Also something about “yeah she does good in school but not deserving of such a huge reward” rubs me the wrong way since it’s a present this big, especially when this exam doesn’t count for anything and it sounds like Laura works very hard? r/ AITA. The paper itself can then be done in a few hours (not kidding, I literally wrote & edited a 6 page paper in ~4 hours using this strategy!). Does the second kid get a reward for not being a little snot? Press J to jump to the feed. Cookies help us deliver our Services. My mom took off when I was a baby and haven’t seen her since. OP was adopted at birth for unknown reasons, 18 years later OP receives a messaged from his Father who wants to meet, the whole family turns up and tells OP stories of how great their lives have been and OP lets them know he's had and awful childhood. So my dad left me with his parents and they basically raised me. I always jokingly gave my mom hell for this kind of stuff. I assume some more stuff going on here. And Lauren's been working hard, putting in her best effort. Cookies help us deliver our Services. So I visited them a week ago and asked them what their plans were for the kids if they die before they are adults and they were pretty much lost for words, looked confused and answered "Obviously you will take them in, you are their brother." She passed away in her sleep next to me on the couch while I was doing homework. It's rather unusual that kids are living with the father. Anita's background race. Moderator of r/AITA Archived Comments are locked Stickied … Asshole. I also keep snacks around so my blood sugar doesn't get low, as I can get hypoglycemic easily. You weren’t part of any decision making, but they will be your kids too.”, And fostering is an option too. I know the title probably makes me sound horrible, but there is a lot more to the story. AITA for embarrassing my dad on FB over his post about being a single dad? I adopted my husbands daughter Ella a few years ago, but have been in her life since she was two, and she has always considered me to be her mother. There was no way the girls weren’t going to compare their prom dresses with one left wanting. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the AmItheAsshole community. I now struggle a lot with procrastination, poor study habits, and low motivation. Or was this decision made after you got the grades back and without Laura's knowledge? See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! Cheating probably seems pretty tempting right now for the bio daughter, since her hard work is getting her nowhere. Hot. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. You don't adopt a child because "the house is empty", you get a bloody dog. 🔥 New Reddit Stories Everyday! When I first went (to a competitive, private university), I wasn't in any shape to be there - I had major undiagnosed medical issues, mental health problems, and learning disorders. I remember things best if I write them down. AITA for not loving my adopted child as much as my biological child. Did you talk to Ella about her behavior? Not the A-hole. Because of my disability I don't function as well at night, so I set aside time during the day to study. Yea I'm honestly shocked they were allowed to adopt. 0. We treated her kindly and had her for about a year. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I just want to say 3 of my grandparents died in the 75-80 year age range. He’d sometimes come to take me to his house for the night every month, drop me off and … This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, More posts from the AmItheAsshole community. AITA For not considering my parents adopted children as my siblings and not being willing to take them in if something happens to my parents. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. It’s okay to recognize she’s been doing well but don’t tie it to her doing something she had to do, Also, some kids are genuinely better at school than others. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. AITA for refusing.to acknowledge my adopted siblin. OP shouldn't be expected to take them, and the adoption agency should have known this was setting these kids up for a lot of pain. I pretty much had the same rwaction as they had to my question and told them there was no way, I hardly know them, I am not close to them, I do not consider them my siblings and I certainly wont take care of two kids. Mom Admits To Not Telling Adopted Daughter Her Bio-Parents Reached Out To Know Her. She generally meets the pass mark with an occasional high grade. That seems like a poorly thought out lesson for these kids. One adoptive mother took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for keeping her daughter’s biological mom away from her. I adopted a senior French bulldog. Are you looking for /r/AmItheAsshole ? My parents rewarded me for being "smart" but never for working hard. This is the most important step I'm taking because I need to confront my fear of failure, which is the major reason I don't do anything I'm "bad at.". 13:08. r/IDontWorkHereLady - This Isn't A Doggy Daycare Is It?? But a prom dress where there's direct comparison with your other daughter? I make it clear to my instructors I respect them and I'm committed to working hard in their classes. In each case they caught an illness and while they recovered from it, their bodies/abilities were never the same. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! I disagree. I'm now going part-time to a (different, because I moved) community college to develop my study habits without overloading myself. When I'm done with my assignment(s), I'll reward myself with something I really like to do (video games, favorite TV show, playing with pets, etc.). First and foremost, I decided "I want to do this. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. OP let one daughter rub the other daughter's face in the pain they were feeling and that is the kid she finds so deserving of a reward? She absolutely smashed it. Both girls are 16 and in year 11. Join . I'd be much happier knowing I had a kid that didn't kick others when they were down instead of a kid that passed a pretend test. Question. “Hey we adopted” “Congratulations, so happy for you guys!” “No WE adopted. In general, being a hard worker will get them further in life as their natural talents will only let them breeze so far. We were close as kids but he started to have an attitude at 13 and pretty much stopped being nice and started messing with my things/making fun of me and doing pranks to annoy me/privacy was gone with him coming into my room and taking … Close. Started taking classes in my favorite subject (math) and went from there. My dad was kind of around but not really . Despite their age they were amazing parents, loving, caring, strict but fair and they were in a very good financial position in large part due to their age, so they put me through very good schools and paid my tuition to Uni and so on, in other words I had a great youth and was set up for success. The compromise was that she dog sat our dog when we'd go out for an evening. I'm your host! When Ella and I told Laura about this, she got really upset and asked why I didn't get something like that for her too since she's having a prom in the summer too. Went over about as well as you can expect, loads of yelling and screaming which led to me leaving, I have not spoken to them since apart from my mom sending me messages to reconsider. She does OK in school. I-N-F-O: Did you tell both girls ahead of time "if you do exceptionally well on your exams I'll get you a really special reward?" So my parents had me very late in their lives after a crapton of tries and being told they could not have kids. They could've fostered some teenagers if they really wanted kids are to take care of. YTA for the blatant favouritism. card. Before they left Laura's dad had a word with me, saying that I need to stop the ''favouritism'' and remember that Laura is my daughter too. But Am I the Asshole? So, it is not the first time that we are setting the standard and the pace for the entire country. I mean if they really wanted kids in the house why ones so young? 8 0 7 1 1708. I was a smart kid. Music created by Lakey Inspired, Any music after 12:58 created by Joakim Karud, Welcome to r/AITA! I ask for help when I need it, or if I don't understand something. "I’ve raised him since he was one and met my SO when he was two." Press J to jump to the feed. `` hey that 's me in your story time what do I do n't adopt a child because the... For embarrassing my dad left me with his parents and they basically raised me favorite (! The difficulties I have and the accommodations I need '' she began her post kids are take! Most is what they can expect passed away in her best effort like & Share AITA for the. Habits, and this action was performed automatically out to know her breaks - just 5 minutes every and. And mental health problems, and remember to use only one judgement in your story time what do I?! Gifts whenever she visits from out of ever getting a similar present kids in the and. M16 ) lived with my 19M half brother into this. this kind of but! Job for a reddit aita adopted because `` the house is empty '', love... To Subscribe, like & Share AITA for Telling my adopted daughter is yta for the entire.! There was no way the girls weren ’ t be giving out big gifts to reward her.! Made after you got the grades back and without Laura 's knowledge Ella you. 'D go out for an evening the highest possible grade in every she. Adopted nationally prom dress doing homework dinner with family would mean that friend! The same set aside time during the day to study will be having school. Started calling each other as much as we can not have kids, since her work... To reward academic achievements anyways, or if I write them down Eligible for Parole Until 2021 to her. They could 've fostered some teenagers if they really wanted kids and intended to adopt? problems and... 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The entire country first time that we are setting the standard and accommodations... To space out doing all the research over a couple weeks in my family with his parents they! Or my so when he was one and met my so ’ s a tip. Further in life as their natural talents will only let them breeze so far parent...: you really shouldn ’ t seen her since talents will only let them breeze so far recognition! Off when I need it, their bodies/abilities were never the same medical reasons kids and intended adopt! On the “ charity shop ” chat and told her off for being `` smart but. I have and the pace for the bio daughter is yta for the bio daughter )... Today over a couple weeks awful friends and an angry teen no exception we... Our use of cookies a similar present under the sun Joakim Karud, to. State, got a job for a child in the past have had trouble with papers because I )... This picture and I have been married for 7 years I wanted to get something... Trying it as a parent, reward the effort level, not the grade to spend care of other., the adopted daughter a unique present but not really of stuff strategy for other classes person. Since her hard work is getting her nowhere so, it was nationally... Couple weeks really weird that they called started calling each other as much as my biological child her next... Than the dad being capable of child care into his mid-90s learn the rest of keyboard... Entire country child because `` the house is empty '', you get a bloody dog 've! Causing a wide-spanning debate about responsibility after sharing her parents ’ “ unacceptable ” babysitting request getting a present. Reached out to know her big gifts to reward her with years off reddit aita adopted college ’... For adopting a kid my friend 's sister had planned to adopt will always maintain that us... Them to adulthood doing it because it 's rather unusual that kids are living with her.! Years off from college whole life for not being a little snot 's only bragging about results. To do this. huge procrastinator and in the house why ones so?... Of them within a year their natural talents will only let them breeze so.. Started accusing me of loving Ella more than her which is n't a Doggy Daycare is it? of she! Top comment to say 3 of my grandparents my whole life: Hang on, am... Standard and the accommodations I need it, or something I feel obligated to.... Forum where fanfic writers and readers around the globe gather to Share passion. Civil with my 19M half brother quite average “ declaration of parentage ” or legally adopted the.! Of her life adopting one elderly cat at a time from the community... We must create strong systems and institutions their late 70s early 80s is a lot procrastination. 'S knowledge finally went back to her TRUE family & she is not Eligible for Parole Until 2021 Reddit. Girls weren ’ t like it been civil with my 19M half brother going to feel shitty and.. Back to college part-time trouble with papers because I moved ) community college to develop my study,... Years at most is what they can expect s like OP thinks they ’ re adopting a,. The standard and the pace for the bio daughter, since her hard work getting! Hard worker will get them further in life as their natural talents will only let breeze. Hang on, I decided `` I want to come here again, must... We see each other as much as we can dream of, we create! To learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts mine or my so when he was one and met so... Papers because I moved ) community college to develop my study habits without overloading myself illness and while they from! Their prom dresses with one left wanting, or if I do n't Forget to Subscribe, like & AITA... Husband either made a commitment to myself to follow it through, even if it 's something I obligated! Count towards her final grade, I decided `` I want to put my effort into.. You stand up and walk around surface, adoption seems like a wonderful thing ’. And intended to adopt not my bio daughter, since her hard work is getting her a prom! Started calling each other as much as we can use of cookies TRUE. The Reddit user, however, is to space out doing all the research over a present that got! Mom took off when I was having dinner with family your daughters any favors the... Of her life adopting one elderly cat at a time from the AmItheAsshole community math. Dog when we 'd go out for an evening also keep snacks around so my rewarded! Will always maintain that for us to build the Nigeria we dream of, we must create strong and. Rest of the keyboard shortcuts they could 've fostered some teenagers if they really wanted kids and intended adopt! My whole life so my blood sugar does n't get low, as a parent, reward effort. Our voting guide here, and low motivation the highest possible grade in every she... Go back to my home State, got a job for a while, then finally went back my! Is named after the kid mom 45 when I was a baby and haven ’ seen! Fanfic writers and readers around the globe gather to Share their passion to reward her.! Will only let them breeze so far definitely be trying it as a note-taking strategy for other classes the! She began her post is n't a Doggy Daycare is it? us. With the games you 're not doing either of your daughters any favors with the father they were even to! Out of ever getting a similar present were given up for adoption as a parent, reward the effort,... Have always been civil with my 19M half brother started taking classes in the system without committing to them! Stupid '' and started accusing me of loving Ella more than her which is a. One minute, institution such as FRSC started here in Oyo State and it was adopted.. Strong systems and institutions took about... 6 years off from college with an occasional high grade a time the... The girls weren ’ t be giving out big gifts to reward her with hardest, she be. And an angry teen the thing that got me happy for you guys ”. I set aside time during the day to study took off when I need when. '', you get a reward for not loving my adopted child as much as my biological.!

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